The Trellising!

Here's the main problem: while I don't know what I am doing 98% of the time, I walk around like I know EXACTLY what I am doing 100% of the time. Even as I am falling over, forgetting something important or going in the wrong direction. And I default to the authoritative tone that sounds like I know what I'm saying, even when I clearly do not.

I don't mean to look like I know what I am doing all the time, I just assume everyone else is also in on the joke and knows I am an idiot. Sadly, they are not always on the same dumb-ass page as I am.

So when I announced loudly that I was going to build a trellis/arbor thing, everyone thought it was mildly interesting and nodded. When I announced my need for a drill and some lumber they all kept nodding. I started to buy into my own hype and kept concocting plans for what became known as "The Trellising!"

I was pretty sure my husband hadn't heard any of the planning, based on his overuse of "uh-huh" and his distinct lack of concern at my cleaning off the circular saw in the garage. But when I need an reality check, I call him. So it was with concern that he was standing with me in the backyard actually facing my plans.

"So the trellis will attach to the fence there, and then what?" he asks cautiously. I launch into plans for posts in the ground, cement holding them up, blah blah blah, whatever else I saw on DIY that morning. "Uh huh." It's not the supportive nod. He's starting to understand I am going to lose an eye or cut a finger off in the act of Trellising.

"Concrete?" The eyebrow is up. He knows he's got me there. I don't like that stuff. Every project using it has gone badly. He also knows I need him to get the bag into the car because it is heavy and I have spaghetti arms. He's going to cling to that.

"What's wrong with what you have there?" He's referring to the frost cover that I have over the delicate plants. It's laying on them like a bedsheet after a bad night's sleep, all twisted and wrinkled.

He starts to lay out a plan, a sane plan with a distinct lack of power tools involved. Cut the frost covering up a bit, hook it up to the fence, to the porch, to the ficus. You'll have a shady spot that will endure as much weather as the stupid trellis ever would have (which is to say, nothing more than a slight breeze).

It took the wind out of my sails, but it was clear and doable. It also meant I had a need to purchase a staple gun, an accessory I had been mulling for awhile after watching too many HGTV shows. He clearly didn't approve of a staple gun in my less than steady hands, but it was better than the circular saw.

(It was nice of him not to mention the time at work last week when I tried to use a regular stapler to open a pistachio nut and ended up stapling my index finger and my thumb together. During a conference call. In the cubefarm, no one can hear you scream.)

So now it's official! I am a trellising wuss who needs to stick to planting things. But also I have a neat little shade sail done on the cheap protecting my monstera and some boston ferns.

But I was at Lowes for the staple gun.
Which meant plants!

Installed an oleander next to the shade sail (but not under). The hope is that I will shape the Oleander into a tree as it gets older, taking care to avoid the toxic/acid sap that everyone whines about.

Another on the other side of the fence for the same purposes. The only reason I am hopeful that this will work is because they are only 3 feet tall right now and Project Oleander will be a long term thing. I can do anything if I have an entire year to take care of!

Filled out the rest of the sideyard bed with a Ruby Red Fringe Flower I found on the half price table and some varigated flax lily. Also added some ornamental peanut to an area that the grass isn't growing on (they were on the half price table too, $1.50!).

I also saw some calla lilies on the sale table, but they like water too much for my yard. I was pretty sure I'd just watch them die for half price, so I skipped.

Still no rain! Radar shows it hitting all around my area, but not actually making it down the street. Sigh.