The nectar of Natural Light...

I spent a week on vacation. Yes, even us unemployed slobs need to take a break now and then.

I was expecting to come home to the usual collection of empty beer cans in the yard, courtesy of the sex offender three doors down. He and his friends party under the dim street lights of his parent's (and mine) cul-de-sac and I haven't figured out why, but we are the continual recipients of his friends' discarded Natty Light cans.

But there was an extra surprise.


My pretty hibiscus, my popcorn plant, my sea grapes are all coming back with a vengeance. Fed on the nectar of cheap beer and partial negligence by their owners, my frost-bitten, chopped back plants are rearing to go. Even the dead one sprouted little bitty leaves in my absence.

I imagine them growing larger and larger till they take the neighborhood by force. They have plenty of backup, my front yard is predominantly drought-tested shrubs, including two hibiscus monsters on either side of the garage. I imagine they're the thugs, the muscle, while the recovering ones out front are the brains. Together they'll climb out of the ground and free their brethren from the clutches of the garden centers...


Who says gardening is boring?