Stupid February and its Stupid Frost

We are having yet another stupid frost. He-llo? This is Florida? Even better, this is Pinellas county? We don't get such things here. Well, not more than once a year at least.

So when the January frost hit two nights in a row and bit off a ton of my hibiscus leaves, I thought "Well, that stunk, but at least it's over with." But nooooo, it wasn't.

And can I do you one better? This time it's also windy! Like gusts of 34 mph. Think the wind will help me out when frosting time comes? Nope, should stop by then. Stupid wind.

Stupid frost. Stupid wind.

So my last foray into frosts left me bitten after I used plastic painter tarps on everything and stuff died. But not enough for me to say "screw it" two weeks later. Enough for me to not feel confident that I've got it down. I am afraid I am being a bad mother.

So, today I went though the checklist.

1. Well watered plants: this is a gimme as we had a lot of rain recently


2. Cloth covers: Dang it. I never bought the floating row covers - fabric that can be used to protect plants from frost. I had plenty of plastic tarp, but we know how that story ends. Except...they say you can suspend them from sticks, that as long as the plastic doesn't touch the leaves, you might be OK. And have you seen the hedge of hibiscus recently? It's all sticks on top. Sold, they get plastic. now for everyone else, they get cloth. As in, my sheets and tablecloths. I hold my breath and drag it all outside.


3. Daylight: I am a good girl and put off my evening wine in order to get out there while there's still daylight. Doing so is supposed to keep more heat around the plants. Or something.

But as I put everything up, something's not right. A tumbleweed passes by. A tumbleweed made up of pretty patters. It's then that I realize it's not just a breeze blowing though, it's gusty out. Wind! I run into the garage and grab things to weigh the sheets down with. Stuff that isn't too valuable, stuff that can't be used for vandalism (perhaps the only home problem I've encountered that can't be best fixed with a hammer). This is good for the low bushes, less so for hedges. As evidenced by plastic sheeting dancing in the street. This leads me to:

4. Duct tape: Which is not available, so I use blue painter's tape instead. I use it to tape branches to plastic, sheets to branches, sheets to sheets, anything else you can think of.

What will happen? Place bets now...